The past is what we always tend to look back on,
but remember the future is what we look to, to move forward.
- Charlee DeSa -
Hi, my friends.
Well, I screwed up.
I won't go into details (those that know me, know what's up) but it seems to be a theme in my life. I get my ducks in a row and then through my own actions, I begin to shoot them down. Sometimes it's just one or two. That's usually easy to fix with minimal damage. But sometimes, I take a grenade to the whole line and really blow the hell out of things. Guess which one I did this time?
This has been my pattern for a while.
This last screw up was a biggie. Not that others haven't been but this one was primo. It cost me something that was the most important thing in my life. And it ain't happening again!
I'm moving forward. I'm going to change.
I'm working on a solid plan to make this change. Taking better care of myself, focus more on myself as a person and how I need to improve. I'm reading more, exercising. Trying to eat better.
But mostly, I'm asking for redemption and forgiveness. From those that I failed. Those I let down.
I made a huge mistake and by all rights, an unforgivable one. But I'm trying to atone. I'm working to prove myself worthy of forgiveness.
All involved are talking. It's a step. The first of many but at least it's a step forward. I have a lot of work to do. On myself and on how I see myself.
I don't know how this will turn out. But I will work as hard as I can to make up for what I did and save what's most important to me. I will do everything in my power to change and be the man I should be. And I will work to prove I'm worthy of a chance.
Wish me luck.
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