Memorial Day


Today, we remember those who serve and have served to keep America free and send the message of freedom and hope around the globe. 

How about we don't make this a once a year thing?

SMILE!

What can I say!


Courtesy of Stumbleupon.com

HE'S BACK!

Well, hello there! How have you been? Been a while, hasn't it?

Life has been very busy. Lots of changes. Some good...some....not so good. But we're adapting. Life is like that. Changing, evolving, moving. Hopefully always forward

I'm going to try this again. It'
s been a while so I'm gonna be a little rusty. But, hey, gotta start somewhere.

Drop by anytime. Hopefully, you;ll find something you like and stick around.

See ya soon

Starting Again

Hi.
I guess it's time to try and start anew.

As I said in my last post, my life is one tumultuous trial right now. I'm still working on finding out why I did what I did and trying to resolve the issues I created. My relations with family are slowly improving and I hope I'm gaining some in-site as to my actions.

But, Lord, it's hard. Trying to figure out what's best for me and still maintain a family is harder than you would think. I've been lost for so long, I've forgotten who I am.

But I'm getting there. I see some changes in myself. I'm more focused and more inclined to accept my faults. Not so quick to anger. More accepting of myself and others. And willing to listen more.
Wish I had done this years ago. Perhaps things would be different but I don't know.

I'm going to try and start back writing here. I don't intend to share my deepest, darkest secrets nor tell tales on others. Just express my thoughts and maybe take the reader through my journey so that they can learn from my mistakes and stumbles.

Hang around if you're interested. I could use the company.

Friends? Family?

Hey friends. At least I hope I still have some out there. It's amazing to me how fast you can be deserted by the ones you care for.

My life has been very tumultuous and confused lately. I screwed up and hurt my family. I'll not broadcast the details here: suffice it to say it was ALL my fault. What I did was painful and continues to hurt. I've expressed my sorry at my actions but my apologies have fallen on deaf ears. Not too surprising really. But what has been surprising is how no one is willing to try and forgive and help fix the issue.

I won't say all have left. One has helped with money. One has helped by just being there, although I can't really talk to him about this. He's too close.

But the others....well, that's different. Some have great reasons to be mad at me. They have suffered the most. They know who they are.

But there are some who left for no reason except they were offended by what I did. I understand this to a point but what happened to understanding and caring. Yes, I screwed up. Yes, I let people down. But no one has offered to listen to me, no one has offered advice or help. Just demands, conditions, and rules

I'm in therapy and on medication trying to figure out why I did what I did. It's slow. My meds have been adjusted three times. It's a trial and error process. But it would be nice to have someone to sit with and just talk.

I've reached out to family and friends but have been rebuffed. They don't want to talk. They tell me I cannot be forgiven (at least their actions say that).

I screwed up. But I'm trying to fix it. What I did may be irreparably damaged. But I need help. I need a friend.

Can you help me?

New Beginnings

Hey.

We got a new bird feeder.

Doesn't seem like a big deal, does it? But in this crazy household of ours, it signifies a return to normal (well, our kind of normal anyway).

We've always fed the birds; kept feeders and birdbaths in our yard. But with all the crap that's been going on, we kinda let that slip away. We misplaced the things that were fun in our life. Let them get run over by the day to day stuff that we all deal with.

I'll admit, we had a few extra issues (Mom passing, car wrecks, car explosions) but that's not the point.

I think my point is, it didn't take much to help heal a lot of troubles. We had lost things and people in our life and started to forget what was good. We were crying in our beer and the salt of our tears made the beer flat and tasteless.

The feeder reminds us of that old life. It brought back memories of a life that we were beginning to think had vanished altogether. This silly plastic and pot metal feeder reminded us that life goes in cycles; up, down, and even sideways on occasion. But it always comes back to normal.

The feeder didn't cost much but we got so much more.

Comfort and hope.

Not a bad deal.

Blue Sky's Smilling at me.

Mornin', folks.

It's a beautiful day here in Norfolk, OAT about 39 degrees and blue sky's. (OAT stands for Outside Air Temp. It's an aviation term and I DID spend a long time in the airplane fixen' field.)

Things are still in chaos here in the household but slowly simmering down. Beck's is working on funeral items for her Mom and still trying to be the primary bread winner of the family. The funeral is Saturday but family start to arrive this Thursday so we have to get ready for that.

I have to say I am SO proud of Becky for the way she has dealt with all this mess. Even though most of the arrangements were previously done, there is still so much to take care of after a loved one passes. Legal issues, family and friend's wishes, and trying to find time for yourself to grieve and deal with the impact of the death make for a full day. And Becky has been right there in the thick of it, fixing, cajoling, soothing, grieving,and still, moving life forward.

Thanks again to all who have helped, offered to help, or have just been there for support. We may not express it or show our gratitude at that moment, but we are grateful beyond words.

THANK YOU ALL!